Accomplishment. It’s a funny word. It can have different meanings dependent upon the context in which the word is used. It can mean that you finished a project, or you completed a task. It could also mean that something has been achieved successfully. But how can one feel accomplished? You can’t accomplish anything by sitting around doing nothing. It takes work and time to be successful. You can be successful only by doing and accomplishing.

Usually bigger things like getting accepted to colleges or getting a job promotion or finishing a painting, are mainly considered as accomplishments, but even small things like finishing a page of homework can be considered an accomplishment. But some people don’t have the opportunity for those kind of accomplishments. For some people it’s an accomplishment getting out of bed each day. Or for some, even giving a single smile in a whole day is a huge achievement.

Depression is a huge part of the world around us. Some struggle with it more than others–including myself.

It’s been just over six months since the death of my mother and I think about her every day. I remember sitting next to her bed in the hospital, holding her hand, knowing full well that she was going to die that day of October fourteenth. My brother was on one side of me and my sister was on the other. We watched as my mother opened her eyes and looked–or more stared–at the three of us. It was a miracle that she even opened her eyes. She couldn’t talk but we knew what she wanted to say, just by looking into her eyes. She knew what was happening and she knew what was going to happen but she wanted to look at her children one last time, and she wanted the three of us to know that she loved us. Then she closed her eyes and not an hour later, we watched her take her final breath.

In the end, her addiction to alcohol is what killed her. It caused her to have multiple organ failure and in the midst of it she contracted pneumonia. Her liver failed first, then her kidneys, then her lungs, and finally her heart.

Right after it happened I thought, “How can I move on from this?” and I didn’t have an answer for myself. No one else had an answer for me, either. I became so depressed that I couldn’t focus in class and I literally did nothing inside the classroom and I didn’t do anything outside the classroom either. It was like I couldn’t function enough to have a thought process and my grades suffered from it.

I’ve been dealing with depression since that day. It’s not an easy feat to deal with on your own. But I get through it one day at a time. I’ve learned that it’s okay to be sad sometimes. We can’t be happy all the time. For the first few days after my mom’s death, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to feel and I didn’t know how to act. I wasn’t sure if it was even ok for me to smile. But, if the opportunity presented itself, then I would take any chance to smile that I could.

Each day I had to keep telling myself that I was proud of myself for eating that day. Soon, that turned into being proud that I slept that night, even if it was for only an hour. Now I set goals for myself to achieve, one of which is smiling at least ten times in a day.

I amaze myself each day on how strong I have become and am still becoming. Before my mother’s death I was so determined to do great things and I was happy and excited about everything. I was practically high on life. I felt beautiful and strong in every aspect and as if nothing could bring me down. Now, after six months, my grades are improving and I’m starting to feel beautiful again. Although I do have days where I feel ugly and disgusting, I have friends and family that remind me otherwise.

You just have to take each day as it comes, step by step, and surround yourself with supportive people that you love. Remember it’s ok to be sad, or even depressed. It’s even okay to cry.  You have to remind yourself of all the good things around you and that you’re not alone. You have people who care–it could be family or friends or teachers. They are ready and willing to help and be there for you whenever you need. You’re never alone. Someone is always there waiting to help.